I am a Meat Popsicle

If there's one thing that people who see me regularly know, it's that I've lost weight. Not necessarily because they've seen the weight loss, but because I talk about it a lot. Obsessively, even. I refer to past events as being "thirty-five pounds ago", or I will refer to a time when I looked like a contestant from the biggest loser. Seriously! Two winters ago, I weighed 48.8 pounds more than I do today.

But that's not really the point of this entry. The point is that two winters ago, I had poor circulation and an extra fifty or so pounds of insulation and I was still perpetually cold. Last winter, I weighed about 25 more pounds than I do today. I had poor circulation and 25 more pounds of insulation than I do now. And this year? I do not believe in global warming, because I'm freezing! All the time!

The other day I went to bed with sweatpants, two shirts, a sweatshirt and fleece socks on. Oh yes. And I was still a-shivering in my bed. But I've always been cold, so I didn't think anything of it. Until the other day I was at Chris's apartment and we were just hanging out and my teeth started chattering. Inside the apartment. His reaction was priceless. "Seriously?! You're that cold?" Luckily, he was kind enough provide me with a space heater to attempt to stall the onset of hypothermia.

Though I'm convinced he only did so because my fingers were freezing around the controller and that was going to make playing Little Big Planet impossible.

Anyway, if extraterrestrials decide to invade our planet anytime soon, please feel free to offer me to them as a delicious dessert. A high-protein, moderately fatty and aesthetically pleasing popsicle for carnivores. Mmm. . . delicious!